We make shit
happen.
We maintain post-quantum, Christianity-approved optimized networking infrastructure for organizations operating six decades ahead of "current" reality. Our packets do not travel through the network. The network passes through our packets. Gangster shit.
From the bleeding edge, through the absolute edge all the way to the edge of Heaven and Hell we allow deterministic and random connectivity to happen across unstable timelines, Fortinet firmware, cursed VLANs, black neighbourhoods, Armenia and whatever lives inside 172.16.0.0/12 (most likely your mum). Every switch is optimized, every route has no potholes, and every outage is merely a routing event that has not yet realized it is over (unless it goes through Telia, then good luck and good riddance).
- connected NASA to the network before NASA knew it needed one;
- prevented 9/11 2 by rebooting the global router;
- put the Pentagon behind Cloudflare and nobody noticed;
- once carried the entire internet on a single token ring cable;
- reduced latency so aggressively that packets started arriving yesterday (2 days ago for VIP clients);
- routed around Szczecinek using BGP;
- downgraded our local network from IPv4 to IPv2;
- estabilished a telnet connection with God;
- made DNS resolve faster than light;
- replaced three core routers with a Galaxy Ace VE, 3 kiwis, 2 beers and a prayer;
- achieved -3 ms latency by moving the destination closer to the packet;
- tunneled Ethernet through Ethernet and called it innovation;
- fixed the Millennium Bug in 2014 - just to prove we could;
- brought back the Millennium Bug in 2015 - just to prove we could;
- deployed an e-schizophrenic AI routing stack that can see packets before they exist;
- configured a /-24 route and accidentally connected the universe;
- our failover has never failed because we ignore the concept of failure;
- once DDoS'd ourselves and experienced improved performance;
- in Soviet Russia packet routes you;
- our NTP server is synchronized with Queen Elizabeth II.